Showing posts with label Ohio State Buckeyes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ohio State Buckeyes. Show all posts

Top Five Reasons Why I Hate THE Ohio State University

Monday, November 19, 2012

Just narrowing this list to five reasons presented so many difficulties, but I give you my personal top five reasons why I hate Ohio.

5. O-H-I-O: Every time I've had to share oxygen with Buckeye fans I looked down at my shoelaces and asked if I had enough to hang myself.  Seriously, they have a cheer that spells out the name of their state.  What is infinitely worse is the look of satisfaction after they've completed it.  "Hey, lookie, we just spelled a four-letter word!"  Congratulations, people, you've managed to spell the name of your state, and you didn't even have to resort what people in Mississippi have to do.

4. "Dotting the I" in O-H-I-O:  Ohio fans weep when the portly sousaphone player waddles out and distinguishes a straight line from the letter "i." Congratulations, Buckeye fan, you are able to write a four-letter word in the English language.  That ability, along with opposable thumbs, and being able to control when you throw feces, all separate us from the animals.  Also, if you don't want us to call you, "Ohio," then why do you spell it for us?  One last thing:  do you know who originally created the "Script Ohio" that makes you nostalgic for the days when your coach punched opposing players?

3. The "In-State" Winning Streak:  Conveniently, when Brian Kelly's Cincinnati was on the rise, we did not see them on the schedule.  You remember that year, right?  When Tony Pike lit up the Big East and eventually lost to Florida?  Way to schedule Youngstown State, Akron, and the Bobcats.  Keep that streak close to your hearts, Ohio, it's almost as fraudulent as Jim Tressel's signature on NCAA documents.

2. Your Greatest Coaches:  Woody Hayes punched Charlie Bauman in the 1978 Gator Bowl.  On national television, the coach who is the face of your hallowed history, punched an opposing player, in the face.  He didn't spit at him, nor did he say things about his mother.  Woody Hayes physically assaulted an opposing player. Every lead-in about Ohio State's football tradition starts with a shot of Woody Hayes and his famous cap, when it should open with the fact that he assaulted a young man in front of millions of people. The worst thing Jim Tressel ever did was lie, cheat, then lie about the cheating.  Oh, and he fixed raffles so recruits could win cars while simultaneously leading Bible studies and writing books about how Jesus changed his life.  Assault and Battery, with a smattering of blasphemy, but just as long as your program is winning, right?

1.  Buckeye Fan:  You know who you are.  You're the pathetic loser who attaches your own personal self-worth to a college football team.  You're the person who throws batteries at Michigan fans as they run to their car after Drew Henson's naked bootleg in 2000.  You're the one who had to be reminded by university officials to respect the United States' Naval Academy, its players, coaching staff, cheerleaders, and fans during a game.  You're the person who says, "F$*@ You!" to someone wearing a Michigan tee shirt as he pumps gas so he can get out of your state as quickly as possible.  You're the one who agrees that players "ain't come to play school."  You're the fan who says, "At least we got to the BCS Championship Game!" after your team gets Shawshanked by the S.E.C.   You're everything wrong with college football, but at least you're not a Notre Dame fan.

Beat Ohio.

The B1G Leaders Division: Is It Wisconsin's To Lose?

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

It is well known that 1/3rd of the Leaders Division in the B1G is ineligible to participate in the conference championship game. Those teams are Penn State and Ohio State. So, with two of the programs unable to play, four remain to make a bid. Those four are looking to upset the winner of the Legends Division.

The former B1G champion and Leaders Division champion, Wisconsin, is looking like the heavy favorites to take the division once again. With the rest of the division including Purdue, Illinois, and Indiana. Is this Wisconsin's division to lose, even with a sub-par performance within in the conference? In a way, yes.

Wisconsin is returning their heavy hitter and Heisman hopeful, Montee Ball, for another year. This presence in the backfield is huge considering the offense will feel the loss of Russell Wilson (let's face it, Danny O'Brien is no Wilson) and his production in the air and on the ground. Though O'Brien will be aided by solid receivers Jeff Duckworth and Jared Abbrederis. Wisconsin is also returning their linebacker corps of Mike Taylor and Chris Borland on defense. Overall, it has five returning starters on offense and six on defense.

With all that talent on both sides of the ball, the lower tier opponents of the Leaders division can't statistically compare, right? Let's look at Wisconsin's conference schedule in 2012:
  • AT Nebraska
  • Vs. Illinois
  • AT Purdue
  • Vs. Minnesota
  • Vs. Michigan State
  • AT Indiana
  • Vs. Ohio State
  • AT Penn State
The first test Wisconsin receives will be at Lincoln when they play the Nebraska Cornhuskers. No matter the quality of the Nebraska team, the rabid fans of Lincoln makes it always difficult to play there. Last year, the Badgers were aided by a monster performance by Ball. Who rushed for 151 yards and four touchdowns on the ground. The Badgers handled Nebraska easily, winning 48-17. With much improved Nebraska squad, who has had a full year of B1G football, I don't think Wisconsin escapes with a victory.

Illinois is going through a change of identity right now. As former head coach Ron Zook was fired and replaced with Tim Beckman. In most first years, teams often struggle to find their identity. I believe Wisconsin takes this game easily.

Purdue may be considered the dark horse to win the division this year, and I agree. Here's why. Purdue is returning a QB looking for a better season than last, and with another year of experience under his belt, Caleb Turbush is looking for redemption. It doesn't hurt to have a dependable back in Ralph Bolden. Purdue is also returning defensive back Ricardo Allen and stud defensive tackle Kawaan Short. They also have a potential game changer in kick returner Raheem Mostert, who lead the FBS in kickoff returns last year. Purdue is returning nine on offense and ten on defense, so most of the same core is there. Even though Purdue finished 7-6 last year, expect more of a solid team this year. I believe Purdue pulls the "upset" here, beating Wisconsin.

Minnesota is well, Minnesota. They were 2-6 in the B1G. Faced with multiple health scares with their head coach Jerry Kill. Let's just face it, they flat out stink. But, hey. They have a beautiful new stadium. Postives, right? Wisconsin wins big.

This brings us to Michigan State. The arch-enemy of Wisconsin the past few seasons. The Spartans have smacked the Badgers down to earth recently. The most memorable moment coming with the miraculous Hail Mary pass caught by Keith Nichol with time expiring to defeat Wisconsin 37-31, an absolute shocker. They both met up again in the conference championship game. Where Wisconsin found revenge in the form of a roughing the kicker call to allow Wisconsin to run the clock out for the win. Michigan State, especially with their tough defense, will come away victorious.

Indiana. Need I say more? They stink. Wisconsin wins.

Next up, the Buckeyes. The first year of Urban Meyer's regime will showcase a much better Buckeye team than last year. Even though Ohio State was victorious against Wisconsin last year on ANOTHER Hail Mary pass (you'd figure they'd practice this by now), Wisconsin will be a well prepared team and will shut down the spread. The Badgers win. But, it's close.

Finally, the regular season ends as they head to Happy Valley to play Penn State. After recent events, that I don't really need to expand on, the Nittany Lions will be reeling and it will show in their play. Wisconsin wins easily.

Though you can't predict a division and the results, but considering Penn State and Ohio State are both out, Wisconsin could go 5-3 in the division and still play in the conference championship. If that's the case, Purdue or Illinois could be major figures in playing the upset figure.

But, on paper, Wisconsin is the vastly superior team in this division. It's theirs to lose, there's no doubt about it. This is how I feel the Leaders Division pans out:
  1. Wisconsin
  2. Ohio State
  3. Purdue
  4. Illinois
  5. Penn State
  6. Indiana

Monday Monologue 07.30.12

Monday, July 30, 2012

War is heating up in the Big Ten Conference. And two schools are clearly differentiating themselves from the competition. Michigan and that school in Ohio are clearly setting the pace, and you could even call it the "Big 2, Little 10". I'm not talking about football standings or even recruiting. I'm talking about player arrests.

Historically, only MSU can keep up with the big boys in that category (Credit goes to @jfish6711 for both of those).

The Cleveland Browns were sold for one billion dollars. Moving on to the next line, because sometimes the jokes write themselves.

The Big House Report may be looking to get bought out by NBC Sports. If that happens, expect them to use the same tape delay feature on this article as they use for the Olympics. Which means you should start seeing the #ThingsSofterThanSullinger top ten list in a few weeks.

Speaking of the list, the Top Ten is now called the Big Ten, and is 20% bigger! We had to change it because Letterman's lawyers were all up on my grill. That last sentence isn't true at all.

Continuing the World's Shortest Book series this week. As always, twitter contributors get credit.

Here are the Big Ten Shortest Buckeye Books:

12. "Beating Michigan" by John Cooper (@jebbe1977)
11. "How to Get Luck to go your Way" by Greg Oden (@LanceGordon)
10. “Crushing My Inner Demons” by Art Schlichter (@Honcho33)
9. "Dominating the SEC" (@CD_Tink)
8. "How to Beat Purdue in Their House" (@LanceGordon)
7. "The Winners Manual: For The Game of Life." by Jim Tressel ... Wait that book is real. Nevermind. (@Mark_Blosser)
6. "Family Ties" by Urban Meyer (@jebbe1977)
5. "How to Leave Early for the NFL"  by Maurice Clarett (@SteveCKays)
4. "Microsoft Outlook Email for Dummies"  by Jim Tressel (@LanceGordon)
3. "How To Cooperate With The NCAA" by Gordon Gee and Gene Smith (@SteveCKays)
2. "The 2012-2013 Buckeye Bowl Game Official Program" (@LanceGordon)
1. "What's a Guy Gotta Do To Get Fired Around Here?" by Gene Smith (@Mark_Blosser)

Please follow me on Twitter @LanceGordon

Monday Monologue 06.18.12

Monday, June 18, 2012

Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter . Look for his "Monday Monologue" series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 06.18.12

The Red Hot Chili alienated the crowd at their Columbus, OH show, with drummer Chad Smith singing "Hail to the Victors" against a chorus of boos. This is considered the most egregious offense in Columbus, and Chad Smith got the full punishment allowed by OSU campus officials. Fortunately for Chad, they used Urban Meyer's discipline policy, so he only had to sit out for 1/4 of the first song, at the following night's show.

At Arizona, the leading tackler from last season, LB Brian Wagner left the team, citing lack of love for the game. When asked for comment, Rich Rodriguez responded "what's a linebacker?

RichRod will respond to this adversity the only way he knows, playing the song "You Raise Me Up" on his iPod, and using the vacated scholarship to get another 5'7" wide receiver.

The Lions made news this week because none of their players got any DUIs or arrests.

With fantasy drafts coming up in the next couple months, it's time to start thinking about team names. With help of the twitter community, here are the Top 10 Michigan-related fantasy team names:

10. Robbing The Crable
9. Pee Wee the Dee Tee (@GoBlueChic)
8. Threet and Out (@jMatthe313)
7. Morning Woodley (@jMatthe313)
6. GarrettRivas Island (@deboerja22)
5. Call Me Brady (@UMJason)
4. Henne Given Sunday (@JoshuaHenschke)
3. Pimpin' Ain't Ezeh (@JoshuaHenschke)
2. Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi (@supprtbradyhoke)
1. Breaston Plants

(All contributors' twitter handles that aren't submitted by me are in parentheses)

Monday Monologue 06.04.12

Monday, June 4, 2012

Shame, shame.
Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter . Look for his "Monday Monologue" series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 06.04.12

A few of my twitter followers are Buckeye fans (amazing, isn't it?) and they've mentioned I use this column as a means to rip their team. While these accusations may or may not be true, let me just say that their program makes my job easy, the same way Charlie Sheen made Letterman and Leno's writing easy a year ago. Quite simply, the Buckeyes are an easier target than a Greg Robinson secondary.

Julia Roberts played a prostitute in "Pretty Woman". Last night in the Miss America pageant, Miss Ohio cited this movie character as her role model. It was this answer that showcased why it was such a nail-biter race for the title of Miss Ohio between this contestant and eventual runner-up Casey Anthony.

Another Buckeye in the news is Jake Stoneburner, TE, who got arrested for reportedly urinating in public and then running from the cops. Urban Meyer sentenced him to an indefinite suspension (probably the first series of the Miami OH game) and a permanent spot in the infamous "circle of trust".

At this point, it's only fair to mention that DT Big Will Campbell of Michigan got arrested for drunkenly sliding across the hood of a vehicle and damaging it. Another Michigan based DT, Nick Fairley of the Lions, got a DUI the same week, for reportedly driving 100 mph with an open alcohol container. While both state-of-Michigan DTs were re-enacting Smokey & The Bandit, southerners are quick to point out that the former Auburn DT's incident is supreme, because he was operating the vehicle with "S-E-C Speed".

Michigan commit Logan Tuley-Tillman made national headlines for tweeting a picture of himself burning a piece of recruiting mail from the Buckeyes. The bad news is that this resulted in death threats for LTT. The good news  is that the keys to Terrelle Pryor's old Nissan 350Z survived the flames.

Always in the news is Ohio State AD Gene Smith. This week, we learned that despite all records of the game being deleted from school record, Gene Smith kept his $61,500 Sugar Bowl bonus. In related news, Gene Smith has secured his spot on the Mount Rushmore of "what does it take to get this guy fired?!?!?" along with Gary Bettman, Bud Selig, and Tim McCarver.

Outstanding recruit Henry Poggi had a final 2 of Michigan and Alabama. Alabama head coach (and former MSU head coach) Nick Saban channeled his inner-Sparty and lost the big name recruit to Michigan, like it was the 1990s all over again.

Smile! You're on the Post of Shame!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

WARNING: The tweets included in this post might have language most would consider to be offensive. Viewer discretion is advised.

We've all seen the picture, we've all witnessed the backlash, the awkward twists and turns and embarrassing behavior from the opposing fan base.

My thoughts about the whole situation? I think it's great for the rivalry. How can you get worked up negatively about a kid burning a letter.. Let me repeat that.. A LETTER.

This is perfect for the rivalry, it adds fuel to the fire (no pun intended) that's been lacking for years. I wouldn't have a problem if a Buckeye burned a letter from Michigan. BUT, I doubt Hoke would openly recruit a kid that has committed to Ohio State. That's a totally different issue in itself.

The purpose of this post is to show how the backlash has gotten out of hand and how some "fans" have stooped to, for lack of a better word, pathetic levels to show their pride in the Ohio State University. I warn you all that there is inappropriate language included in the tweets below. Let this be a lesson to not only Michigan fans, but fans of all schools. Threatening a high school kid, regardless of what was said, doesn't help your school and makes you look like a fool. You're not anonymous behind a computer. After all, this is football we are talking about. You're getting angry at a 16-18 year-old kid that feels passionate about the school he wants to play his college ball for the next four years. Cool. Keep your emotions in check.

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the post of shame! Smile!

Monday Monologue 05.07.12

Monday, May 7, 2012

Tommy Rees Mugshot, Photo Courtesy of
Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter . Look for his "Monday Monologue" series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 05.07.12

Notre Dame starting QB Tommy Rees made headlines for punching a cop last week. Punching a cop raised a few eyebrows, but the real shocker was
that he hit his target. There really is a first time for everything.

Don't plan on harsh punishment for Tommy Rees. Head coach Brian Kelly only gave wide receiver Michael Floyd a slap on the wrist for his DUI last year. He is expected to follow his standard player discipline policy, the one also used by Urban Meyer and Mike Dantonio. This policy is known as "no player discipline whatsoever".

After Sparty missed out on yet another BCS bowl, former MSU quarterback Kirk Cousins complained that Michigan got rewarded by playing in the Sugar Bowl, even though they were at home "sitting on their couch". Now that Kirk Cousins got drafted by the same team as Robert Griffin III, Cousins will finally get his wish. No, he will not go to a BCS game, but he will get to be home and sit on his couch a lot.

Speaking of Urban Meyer, they've discovered another defect in the wall he built around Ohio. By now, you know that he built "the border" to keep the best recruits in-state, and that has failed miserably. The wall also lets very creepy dudes into not only the state, but photographs
with Buckeye football players and recruits.

The whole recruit stalking situation has been a really gross and disturbing development for many. Not only is it causing recruits to leave that school in Ohio, it makes me really not want to go to Buffalo
Wild Wings on trivia night. And I love my wings.

Centers David Molk of Michigan and Mike Brewster of O$U had a twitter feud a few months ago, regarding Molk saying he should be drafted higher. One of the highlights was Brewster tweeting "keep my name out of your mouth, Molk". Apparently NFL teams took this to mean "keep my name
off your draft board" as Brewster went undrafted this year.

Monday Monologue: 04.23.12

Monday, April 23, 2012

Photo Courtesy Of:
Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter . Look for his "Monday Monologue" series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 04.23.12

At the NFL Draft combine, former Buckeyes offensive lineman Mike Adams tested positive for marijuana, causing his draft stock to likely plummet. Urban Meyer was disappointed to learn that Adams had already used up his 4 years of eligibility, because this news made Adams a great candidate for the "circle of trust".

Over the weekend, the Buckeyes held their spring game. Over 80,000 people were there, and just under a million teeth.

Urban Meyer raised a stir by punishing the losing team of the spring game by having them perform community service. Say what you will about Urban Meyer, but let's face it, there is no better way to get kids to be Buckeyes than punishing them with community service, something just about all their players will eventually go through.

In an interview with ESPN's Joe Schad, Meyer said that due to the bowl ban, the school is treating all 12 of their games as bowl games. 12 bowl games? I am no stock market expert, but if you could buy stock in Columbus tattoo shops, now would be the time to do it.

Metta World Peace, formerly Ron Artest, put a vicious elbow on James Harden's face yesterday. Despite overwhelming video evidence, "World Peace" got on Twitter and said that he didn't see Harden there, and that it was an accident. Yeah right, and Ndamukong Suh really was "trying to remove himself from the situation".

Underperforming Michigan wide receiver Jerald Robinson made headlines by getting an arrest warrant for destroying a parking-gate arm of a local parking lot. Like many of the passes thrown his way, the warrant was later dropped.

Q & A Sessions: Mike McCray

Monday, April 2, 2012

Photo Credit: MaxPreps
Linebacker Mike McCray, who's father played for the Buckeyes is a recent Michigan commit for the 2013 class. Hailing from Trotwood, OH, Mike is one in the group of many talented recruits to come from that area.

McCray took some time out to answer a few of my questions. Who does McCray say has a "good mouth piece"? Find out more below!

Q: Let's start off with talking about Ohio State. Your dad was an alum and ex-player, is your family mad or bitter that you did not receive an offer from them?

A: No, my family was not mad or bitter about me not getting an offer from Ohio State because they knew that I had other offers on the table.
Q: What about Michigan drew you in and made you want play there? Considering you're from Ohio and have Ohio State blood in your veins.

A: Michigan had everything that I was looking for in a school. They have a lot of history, winning program, family type atmosphere, great academics and it's not too far from home.
Q: They say revenge is a dish served cold. How do you plan on getting "revenge" against the doubters at Ohio State?

A: I'm not going out for revenge against Ohio State. I will just go out and play hard just like any other team and do the best that I can. I will always have doubters even if I didn't choose Michigan.

Q: By the time your career with Michigan is over, what are you wanting to accomplish?

A: I want to have accomplished winning a national championship, winning the Big Ten all 4 years, play in a bowl game every year, to be a better man and most of all get my degree.

Q: What would you consider strengths and weaknesses in your game? What type of player do you consider yourself?
A: My strengths would be speed, size, good football IQ, foottwork and great hands. My weaknesses would probably getting off blocks better and working on my strength.

Q: What are your thoughts on Shane Morris and his ability to recruit? How much of an impact did they have on Michigan's standing with you?

A: Shane is a great person and knows how to talk (where I'm from, we say has a good mouth piece). He knows a lot about Michigan and he tells you everything they have to offer and it's a great place to be. He had a small impact on my decision.

Q: Is there anyone in particular you're recruiting? Anyone in particular on your list of guys you want to see Blue?
A: I have been trying to get Laquon Treadwell. I would love to see one of my teammates come with me. Such as Reon Dawson (DB) Tre Williams-Brown (DE, LB) or Isareal Green (RB).
Q: Last question, where do you see Michigan headed in the future?

A: I see Michigan being one of the top schools in the country like it was in the past. I also see us competing for a National Championship every year.

The State of the Rivalry Address: Michigan vs. Ohio State

Friday, February 17, 2012

A lot can be judged upon 10 years of performance. Since 2002, Ohio State has owned Michigan 8-2, or 7-2 if you count the vacated loss. There is no way to sugar-coat the truth or make this fact hurt less; Jim Tressel and the Buckeyes have owned Michigan, there's no denying it.

A lot of outside factors could attribute to the previous eight dismal seasons worth of performances. But, the truth is, Michigan was outworked, out coached and lost their toughness when needed the most. Times are changing around the campus of Ann Arbor, and so is the rivalry. Cue Brady Hoke.

Brady Hoke has changed the landscape of Michigan football. It doesn't take the inquisitive eye to notice the changes. He oozes toughness and preaches the gospel of Michigan football, the way it should've always been. Onward rolled November 27th, 2011, a 40-34 Wolverine victory catapulted Michigan to relevancy and a BCS birth. Which also helped change the way the Michigan and Ohio State rivalry will be looked at for years to come. Cue Urban Meyer.

Though it was already in the works, a Wolverine victory cemented the idea of Urban Meyer coming to Columbus. It was inevitable. With the hiring of Meyer, it's the first time Michigan and Ohio State has had former MAC head coaches take over the head coaching positions of these schools since the days of Woody and Bo. Fans, it's time to get excited about manball again. Because that is exactly what is going to be displayed the last Saturday of every November.

Quite simply, it's old school football making a reappearance. The rivalry has finally had a fire lit up underneath it, and we are seeing passion and competition unseen in many years. Michigan and Ohio State are in the top 10 of recruiting in every national recruiting website in the country. It's competition, it's fierce and it's the rivalry reborn.

A whole new Ten Year War has begun. Long gone are the days of embarrassing streaks and poor displays of football. Both teams are going to bring the best product out on the field that they possibly can. For the next 10 years, both teams may win five games. One team way win six or seven. It's going to be tough competition, it'll be heated and blood will be shed (so says Kyle Kalis). These wins will be earned, some may be consecutive, but rotating wins will be a norm.

As Bo once said, "When your team is winning, be ready to be tough, because winning can make you soft. On the other hand, when your team is losing, stick by them. Keep believing." Believe in this rivalry, believe in your Wolverines. Our day to be champions is coming fast. Blink, and you might miss it.

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